I was trying to find out how to show an image with f:image with an absolute path and I was sure, google would be able to tell me a solution within 5 minutes. Turns out: I was wrong. It seems that I’m the first person ever to ask this question.
Solution: it won’t work with f:image AT ALL. Instead:
<img src="<f:uri.resource extensionName='the_extension_name' path='Images/theImage.png' absolute='1'>" />
It is fucking ridiculous that I had to spend more than 2 minutes answering this question. And it’s retarded that f:image cannot do this.